


Ryan's poetry journal

by poeticeclipse



Category: The Office (US)
Genre: Angst, References to Depression
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-04-29
Updated: 2019-06-04
Packaged: 2020-02-09 18:24:05
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 438
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18643585
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/poeticeclipse/pseuds/poeticeclipse
Summary: It was one of those nights, the kind that seem to go on forever, the darkness seems just a bit darker and hope is disgustingly laughable. Ryan opens his journal and he writes.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Trigger warning

Maybe I'm frozen, but my hands, they shake.  
Maybe my soul's a whirlpool and my hearts a lake.  
Maybe I've borne I'll that I can take.  
And just maybe you'll find me, but it will be too late.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always comments appreciated


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warning

I feel disconnected   
itching in my own skin  
sick  
can't you understand   
I don't want to be here


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warning

The pain ebbs and flows  
rushing through my veins it goes  
completing me in the sickest ways  
perhaps I am too lost to save


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warning

Does it scare you when you want to die   
when the tears have all run dry   
the cares you had have all escaped   
leaving emptiness in its place   
the breath you draw hurts your lungs   
you tell yourself you're too young   
but the years pass by quick as a sigh   
and still you find you want to die


	5. Chapter 5

You wake and you're filled with dread,   
breath freezing in your lungs the horrible feeling that nothing is worth anything and if you can't find worth in anything you can't find purpose to live and it closes in on you making you nauseous and panicked.  
you have to pretend today, put on your okay face,   
but how?


	6. Chapter 6

Sometimes we're our own worst enemy   
pull ourselves 'round till we're ripped at the seams  
hands to mouth we stifle screams   
hope what we're living is only a dream   
it seems to horrid to be real   
pain in our chest is all we feel


	7. Chapter 7

I feel the darkness closing in  
my skin weaker than it's ever been  
scarcely containing the organs inside  
feelings rubbed raw but all you saw  
was a distant gaze trying to make it okay  
I'll get through this night same as before,   
though how many more I do not know  
please don't touch me. just let me go


	8. Chapter 8

Descent began on a cliff so high  
eyes on the clouds  
I felt nothing could bring me down  
soaring eagles, tossing wind  
never believing I would bend  
but footsteps falter, rocks slide  
and your whole life becomes a lie  
one you'd like to hide  
but with a view from here  
anyone can see  
that I'm just not what  
I'm meant to be


	9. Chapter 9

Feel it slip through your grip  
taste the air of this despair   
breathe in the finality   
tears run free   
bleeding me  
leaving me grieving 

never enough


	10. Chapter 10

The darkness closes in   
like a second skin  
a chameleon effect that quickens my breath  
how could this be anything but me  
when darkness is all I see  
I dont want the light  
It is too bright for my wounded eyes to bare  
maybe I was just made to live in this despair


End file.
